I'm Running for Pope...
I don't know how you officially get yourself nominated, but I think if I can win the papacy I can really make a difference in the World. Approximately 22% of Americans identify themselves as Catholics. However with the media coverage of the Pope's passing I would have thought it were 88%. Of the 65 million Catholics in the United States I wonder how many are actually practicing Catholics. The funniest thing I find is the people who state "I am Catholic," yet you never see them attend mass, but for some reason they always feel like it is neccesary to send their kids through catechism and communion, etc. I think there are more non-practicing Catholics then any other religion. It is a religion that is based on obedience, one that you do things because you are told you do them, nobody really knows why they do the things they do, they just do because they were raised that way. It is tradition. Obviously, everyone can see my great love for the Catholic church. I am having a hard time understanding why millions of people are expected to flock to the Vatican to see the Pope's body, all you have to do is turn on the television. Explain to me how the pope is a divine person? He is a person just like you and I that after 30 elections a bunch of old men finally compromised and said well I guess we will make him the leader of our church. 30 elections does not make divine leadership, 30 elections means a compromise because people just want to go home. This Pope is a man chosen by people, like the President, not by God. Most Popes in the past have typically been Italians. Why are Italian's any more religious and divine than anyone else in the world?
So that brings me back to the fact that I am running for Pope. Since it is an election then I want my name on the ballot. Where do I sign up. However, I heard an interesting one in the media the other day. There was speculation that they would elect an older Pope kind of as an interim Pope, one that to put it bluntly would not be Pope for a quarter of a century. Isn't that funny, people have selection criteria and agendas in selecting a Pope, so I guess that makes me ineligible for this election since I am hoping to live at least another 25 years. That is too bad because I was hoping to be able to change my name as well. Why in the world was the past Pope called John Paul II? That as we all know by now was not his name. Where in the bible does it state that you have to change your name to be Pope? I think I want to be Pope David Matthew VII if elected.
5 comments:
Curtis:
As you sat in the office and watched me minute by minute watch the long death of the Pope, did you start writing this article right then and there or did you go home and laugh at what I believe in then write this. I am a firm believer of "Everyone is entitled to their own opinion" but because I know you, this affends me that you would write about what millions of people have faith in. Jesus never said go to church every Sunday, but he did say over and over to believe, love and have faith in him. And the majority of us Catholics do it everyday all day long. I know this is your opinion but, goodness be nice. And on a special note, this is to make you laugh.. I wouldnt vote for you if were running for Pope, not after reading this article- your honest friend
A religious war, a religous war!!!!! I want in!!!
I'm sorry, I know the popemobile looks fun, but in order to be pope you must be a male and baptized in the catholic church.
The reason that people all flocked to see the pope is because he is the leader of the christian church on earth.
Six times in the bible, Jesus told all the apostles that Peter was the rock, the one with the keys. Interestingly enough, Jesus seemed to have a psychic ability. Of all 12, only one church survived and that was Peters'.
In our hearts, whether we like the rules or not, we all know that the pope is our leader.
All non catholic christians are protestants. They are in protest of the church. Luther broke away because he was a lazy ass. He wanted to believe in " faith " not works. That's just being lazy. He wanted to ride the robe hem of Jesus to heaven and not do anything good or kind. He didn't want to be obligated. The King of England wanted a divorce. Neither are noble or good reasons.
People felt something with John Paul. They felt something higher, because he had denied his own life, as all popes are required to do, to lead the church. John Pauls famous saying was " a man is known by his actions". Subconsiously, people know this is true.
With that said, I want to make it very clear that I believe that ALL HUMANS RETURN TO GOD. WE ARE ALL HIS BABIES, AND IT IS VERY WRONG TO DECIDE THAT ONLY ONLY FOLLOWERS OF OUR RELIGION WILL GO TO HEAVEN.
The reason that some people send their children to the catholic schools when they don't attend mass is because the catholic schools have perfected education, they provide safe enviornments, and the penguins are fun to laugh at!!!!!!
P.S. I think Liz is a super groovy Lutheran!!!!
Peace and love to you, Curtis!!!!
Stay away from me when that lightning bolt hits you directly on the ass!
I believe it is a great thing to believe in someone who has done great things. It is a slapped on my face as a Catholic to hear someone bash anothers religious beliefs. Many people who are Catholic and non Catholics thought Pope John Paul was a great man, and so did I. He was a leader who had the "ganas" to stand up to other countries and help them to make change. This man had the respect to make presidents bow before him. He deserves much praise. I am one of those who do not attend church as regularly as I should but believing in God no matter what religion is better than not at all. Maybe I should switch my beliefs and worship someone else. How about Michael Jackson, he's great with children. Or how about a sports star? Hell, some of them have great medical plans. How about someone in politics? They are elected by lower, middle, and upper class people. How is your gas mileage?The Catholic church leader may not be perfect but it sure beats some of the "real winners" we have in this country.
Thanks for the laugh guys...i've been wanting to read this for some time...
Wow, now I'm trying to decide whether to be serious or funny here but since most of you know me not to be funny, i guess I have to go with the serious...
I spent 12 years of my life wearing a uniform, in catholic school My wonderful parents sacrificed greatly to send me there, and what did I do in appreciation..i left the catholic church as soon as I graduated. Me..and I was the winner of the "bishops award", can you believe it..i wonder if they would take it back.I loved Catholic school...i loved to argue with all those brothers and sister...with..where does it say that in the Bible?... actuallyI hated it in the end, and begged my mother to send me to 'public' school where, we all know they were one grade level behind, besides, none of my friends came home with tons of books and homework..and they got to take woodshop.
So the day after I graduated, i got rid of the uniform and changed into short cutoffs with a slit up the side..oh was that great...FREEDOM.
Actually, I left the church, and knew I was going to get havoc from the hundreds of 'catholic relatives I have (who by the way are a lot like you describe...you know get their kids baptized in church, have a big party, get drunk, and all that...then go to confession to confess their sin. you never see them again in church except for funerals..
So i went to a class in the summer called "Catholic Reconciliation or something like that...it was for non catholics wanting to become catholics. I had to attend, so i would have my logic in order when I w as asked why I left. So i studied the doctrines and the dogmas.
Now doctrines, are not required to believe in ..that is stuff like..."Please saint jude help me find that lost item..".
but DOGMAS, well if I remember correctly there are only 3 of them, and these are absolute must to be a "Catholic". It was one of them I couldn't quite get a total grip on...so i said, nope can't believe that..and I left.
Guess what it was? ....
I couldn't quite believe in the Immaculate Mary thing..that is she remained a virgin the rest of her life and went to heaven like Jesus did, and she also was born sinless . Nope I couldn't swallow that one.
...but then the saying is... once a catholic always a catholic,so i guess I"m still a catholic.
Going...on....so I get married in a NON catholic church..well. it was like a committed a mortal sin...no bother that some of my relatives had baby in hand while they walked the aisle,...and had the baby baptized..they were ok..because they got married in the catholic church..nope not me...
i was 'lost' because I got married in a 'protestant' church...
I asked a priest to bless the wedding, but he refused, he couldn't do that, it would mean he acknowledge my marriage as REAL.....
oh well,..
Did I tell you my aunt the nun, always thought I'd be anun...oh well..
So that was the end of my catholic life..I will say i'm grateful for the basics..the foundation of my faith...
I wonder if having to go to mass everyday before school has anything to do with why I have trouble with 'very structured' religioius services. I'm not knocking services...it's the boring ones I can't sit still in..
I can say I've been to some very awesome worship services..and none of you who know me would believe the things I do there...(you'd just have to come see):)
When people ask what 'religion' I am..I like to say I'm a Christian, a follower of Christ,..or ask.
What church do you go to? ..I say it depends what you're talking about, the church with four walls?, or the church, the people?
I've been to many types of churches with four walls.
Churches with four walls are like houses some, some you can put your feet on the sofa, others not.,
some churches you can dance, others not.(did I tellyou the time I danced in a Mennonite school, not knowing they don't dance-oops)
So where am I now...I'm a part of a 'house church', although I don't like that title either, I prefer to call it the 'equiping of the Saints' meeting place...and we get to dance here :)and eat, :)and get to know people, and pray for them when they are down, and hug them, and encourage them, and be real with them...wow, what a concept. I wonder what Jesus would think of that?
However, I must say, if I would return to the 'status quo' church, i think I would pick the Catholic church...where else can you go and get out in 30 -45 minutes, as opposed to the hour to hour and half protestent church
Oh one more thing..i don't think Luther was lazy..i think he just got tired of seeing the people spend all their money to buy their way to heaven...and give indulgences to the corrupt religious system. That's why it was 'salvation by FAITH", not by works..you didnt' have to crawl up so many steps oh your knees to get forgivness of sin.
So...those are just a 'few' of my thoughts..of course I have alot more, but it is late and time to go.
Oh Curtis, I love you to death ...but I wouldnt vote for you either!! LOL ! You're a crack up !!
Guess Who!
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